I Set out to Find Who’s Been Star Trek Simming the Longest: The Results Might Surprise You

I’ve been online role playing for 20, maybe even 30 years now.  During that time, one question has always lingered in the back of my mind:  Have I been simming in the Star Trek universe longer than anyone else?  Last week, I decided to finally find out.

Now only did the answer surprise me, but the quest took me on an incredible journey from Brooklyn, New York, to Wewoka, Oklahoma, to Ur of the Chaldees.

First stop: Brooklyn, where I met Cooper Driver.  Cooper wears skinny jeans, hard parts his hair, and drinks Starbucks Venti triple-shot non-fat caramel macchiatos all day long.  Oh yeah, he has a beard too.  While getting to know each other, Cooper shared his thoughts on politics, religion, and macroeconomics.  One thing is clear: Cooper is wise well beyond his 30 or so years on this planet.

At our fifth Starbucks stop of the morning, we finally got around to talking simming.  “Yeah, I’ve been simming for a long time, since like ’82,” Cooper said.  While this sounded impressive at first, especially for pre-dating Internet Service Providers, I got to thinking that I’ve actually been simming for closer to 40 years.  Yeah, Cooper’s career isn’t particularly remarkable after all.

Next Stop: Wewoka, Oklahoma, where an elderly woman answered the door.  I asked to see Richard.  She rolled her eyes and, without saying a word, motioned for me to enter.  She then led me down to the basement, where I found Richard, who was writing a post no less!  “Mom, shut the door on your way out!” he yelled while simultaneously forcing a fistful of Fritos into his mouth.  Most of the crumbs didn’t make it past his goatee.  A few others jumped down to his t-shirt.

Richard explained that he’s been Star Trek online role playing since 1960.  Even I knew that Star Trek first aired in 1966.  Richard, however, saw right through me.  He took a sip of his Root Beer to wash the Fritos down.  “Spock,” he continued while tapping his chest, “my idea–Roddenberry stole it.”  Wow!  How could anyone beat this?

But someone did beat it.  Final stop: Ur of the Chaldees.  Well, not really–I didn’t actually go to Ur of the Chaldees to see Robinson.  We met online.  According to Robinson, he’s been simming for about 5,000 years now.  I was initially hesitant to believe him, but then he sent me this picture.  Case closed: Robinson has been Star Trek role playing longer than anyone else in the world.FIXED_HANDDRAWN_bab_tile_source1

  1. Robinson, 5,000 years
  2. Richard, 58 years
  3. me, 40 years
  4. Cooper Driver, 36 years

1 Comment

Leave a Reply