BRAVO FLEET HQ–Bravo Fleet Executive Council member Admiral Zachary O’Connell and Bravo Fleet Task Force 99 & USS Triumphant commander Rear Admiral Michael Aravan ended a heated six-hour expletive-filled argument Monday night without splitting the fleet. The clash erupted around 7 pm EST over official Bravo Fleet story canon and concluded shortly after 1 am on Tuesday, according to multiple sources familiar with the situation.
Outpost 42 News reviewed a portion of the transcript:
Aravan: [EDITED]!
O’Connell: “So you think your[sic] hot stuff now?”
Aravan: [EDITED]!
O’Connell: “Oh really, that’s what your[sic] going to do?”
Aravan: “[EDITED] you, [EDITED] Bravo Fleet… and [EDITED] Mike Bremer too!”
O’Connell: “[EDITED] you! I ought to block you’re[sic] sorry [EDITED] right now, you [EDITED]!”
Six hours later:
O’Connell: “So we’re good?”
Aravan: “Yeah, we’re good.”
Reaction to the Bravo Fleet non-split has been largely negative.
“Never would have happened back in my day,” said Bravo Fleet co-founder and former Commanding Officer Mike K. Bremer. “We always ended arguments with fleet splits. Period. I don’t know what these clowns today are thinking.”
According to Bravo Fleet records, 7,864 admiralty arguments have resulted in 7,389 fleet splits, a 94% success rate. Bremer maintained a perfect 100% argument-split rate during his tenure as Bravo Fleet Commanding Officer.
Myrkul Sharr of rival club Obsidian Fleet had a similar take. “Quite frankly, I’m embarrassed for Bravo Fleet right now,” he said. “Everyone knows Obsidian Fleet was the biggest and baddest split ever from Bravo Fleet. There’s no way around it now: Bravo Fleet’s gone soft.”
An estimated 96% of all Star Trek Internet role play fleets were founded from Bravo Fleet break aways.
Meanwhile, representatives from the basically defunct Starfleet Legacy Alliance lamented having wasted their time penning a letter to Aravan inviting Task Force 99 to join their club. “No biggie,” joked one anonymous member, “it’s not like we would have spent that time simming.”
After receiving harsh criticism from all sides, both O’Connell and Aravan concurred that there would be more opportunities to do the right thing and actually split. “I’m confident we’ll be able to make it happen in the not so distant future,” said O’Connell.
“I 100% agree. It’s not a matter of if we split, but when,” replied Aravan as the two shook hands. Aravan went on to blame the temporary poor judgment on a lack of coffee.
Michael Aravan has previously been banned from Independence Fleet, Disney Land, and Red Lobster.
Nothing makes Star Trek fandom experience worth it like the DRAMA. Thanks!
[EDITED]!
I laughed my [EDITED] off for ten [EDITED] minutes after reading this [EDITED] article! This is [EDITED] amazing!
Keep up the [EDITED] work!
This is fake!! I know for a fact Admiral Sharr did not say the quote in this terrible article and Maj Tom is going around telling people he did say it. This is not satire it’s fake news!
Obsidian Fleet Maven,
Step #1: Grasp stick firmly with both hands.
Step #2: Remove stick from ass.
You don’t get it do you. Admrial Sharr never said this quote and Maj Tom is a liar. It’s all lies! I don’t have to stand for this rubbish, I’m not responding any more.
Obsidian Fleet has no sense of humor, what’s new? I’m glad I don’t simm with those dolts anymore. Take note of how no one else gets upset about this website.
OFM, are you kidding me???? No need for necro-posting just let people have fun.
Get over it and yes get the stick out of your ass!