History is full of famous switch-a-roos: Paul McCartney, The Ultimate Warrior, and Miley Cyrus, to name a few. Heck, we’re on the 47th version of Cher. After an Outpost 42 News exclusive investigation, we are able to add one more to the list: Mike K. Bremer. Indeed, after the original Mike K. Bremer passed away in 2003 with little notice, Bravo Fleet, fearing political instability, found an unknown doppelganger to assume Bremer’s role, identity, and charming personality. Shortly thereafter, the new Bremer renamed the USS Pegasus to Starbase 400,000.
The original Mike K. Bremer’s obituary from the April 7, 2003 Tumbleweed Gazette-Post-Times:
Mike K. Bremer, 39, of Tumbleweed Junction, Montana died Saturday afternoon after falling from his toilet while trying to adjust his bathroom clock to daylight savings time.
A funeral service will be held at the Tumbleweed Community Church on Saturday. Mr. Bremer is survived by his basset hound Riker, his cat Troi, and his goldfish Data.
A lifelong fan of the South Carolina Gamecocks, Mr. Bremer requested through his will that in lieu of flowers, everyone root against the Clemson Tigers forever.
According to other uncovered records, Bravo Fleet’s Admiral Robert Chadwick was secretly charged with finding a look-alike. He searched high and low before locating and selecting the new Mike K. Bremer, whose birth identity remains a mystery.
The new Bremer’s resemblance to the original was so uncanny that those familiar with the situation not only considered the possibility that new Bremer might be a clone, but they also refused to watch Star Trek: Nemesis with him during his training. However, Chadwick reportedly said that was just because the movie sucked.
Bravo Fleet, Robert Chadwick, and both Mike K. Bremers did not respond to multiple requests to comment on this article. The cat Troi was discovered to still be alive on a farm less than a mile from original Bremer’s home. However, the farm’s owner couldn’t recall Bremer or how the cat got there.
U.S. & Canada Readers: Don’t forget to set your clocks forward one hour tonight.