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Bremer Praises End of Mueller Probe, Decision Not to Indict

STARBASE 400,000–Fleet Admiral Mike K. Bremer lauded the completion of the Mueller probe last month and special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s decision not to indict him.  Bremer had been under suspicion for some time that he conspired with both Russia and the Klingon Empire to elect President Donald Trump.  Bremer vigorously denied all charges.

There was no collusion, coordination, or copulation.  We didn’t even write any joint posts together.  I am completely vindicated!

“There was no collusion, coordination, or copulation,” said Bremer as he boarded a shuttle bound for Starbase 400,000 from his private Mar-o-Lako resort on Risa.  “We didn’t even write any joint posts together.  I am completely vindicated!”

Bremer first came to the attention of the Mueller investigation because of Starbase 400,000’s banner, which features Trump, Vladimir Putin, and Hillary Clinton.  Bremer is also half-Klingon and reportedly met two Russians in a bar in 2015.

“I don’t believe it,” said Brian Bumsworth, a longtime critic of Bremer and recent fan of Mueller.  “There must be some kind of mistake.  I know Bremer is guilty!  I just know it!”

“No Collusion, No Obstruction, Complete and Total Exoneration. Keep Bravo Fleet Great!” Bremer tweeted while en route to Starbase 400,000.

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