ONGOING WORLDS–Global Internet speeds plummeted yesterday and a spacetime anomaly appeared in close proximity to Earth shortly after Simfeld, a sim about simming, was launched on the Ongoing Worlds website. After consulting with Julian Assange, Stephen Hawking, and God, Ongoing Worlds owner David Ball pulled the plug on the innovative new role play to prevent any further damage. Within minutes of the sim’s closure, Internet functionality was restored and the galactic threat to Earth disappeared. Simfeld was the brainchild of veteran Ongoing Worlds member Bill.
Ball was quick to distance himself from recent happenings. “In no way does Ongoing Worlds take responsibility for yesterday’s electronic and cosmic events,” he said. “There is no scientific evidence that our website and what went down were linked. And even if there was, people can create whatever games they want on Ongoing Worlds. So it’s still not my fault.”
The first sign of something amiss was when Ongoing Worlds members found their characters automatically shifting among these three games: Avengers: Exodus, Beyond the Ragnarok, and Two kingdoms. A fourth game, Maelstrom, then began alternating between Ongoing Worlds membership and the Star Trek group Outpost Eden. As Internet speeds slowed around the globe, NASA satellites observed a spacetime rift that would soon threaten Earth’s orbit. However, all returned to normal after Simfeld ended.
According to those familiar with the situation, Bill first pitched Simfeld as a sim about nothing. When that concept failed to catch on, he retooled it as a sim about simming itself: Simmers simming about other simmers.
“It was strange,” Bill continued, “By the time I finished the first post, the characters of my characters were already simming about their own characters. My second post ended up going 42 simming generations deep. When I finished my third post, it felt like someone else’s keystrokes were controlling my actions.”
Bill also said that after Ball told him that Simfeld must end for the good of reality, he wasn’t sure how to finish it. “So I went back to the beginning.” Most fans see Bill’s final post as a disappointment.
“Oh, I’ve always known that I was just a character in someone else’s sim,” added Simfeld member Dust9265.