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Andrew Lloyd Webber’s RPG Writing: The Musical Opens on Broadway to Mixed Reviews; Declared a Gun-Free Zone

NEW YORK–RPG Writing: The Musical, the latest play from famed composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, opened last Thursday on Broadway to mixed reviews from both audiences and critics.  It tells the tale of a group of fan fiction writers establishing new roots after being banished from their homeland.

Act I opens with contralto Amanda Rose’s number “I’m just here to role play,” and concludes with her band of writers being forced out of their games.  Act II begins with the group founding a new website as their home, and baritone John Beeman’s “You can’t take my World” is the play’s finale.

“Bravo! Bravo!” hollered Ongoing Worlds‘ David Ball after the show’s premiere.  “This is the boldest dramatic presentation ever performed on the stage! I must come back tomorrow night!”

Veteran simmer and critic Chas Hammer had a different take. “Eh,” he said.  “We had way more drama back in my day.”

“I thought it was fabulous, but miscast,” continued Andreas François Pierre fondu Lac, “I should have played Beeman… and all of the other characters as well.”

Despite fondu Lac’s remarks and otherwise mixed reviews, Rose and Beeman were praised for their performances.  Also, the USS Legacy and Knight Rider RPG have each seen their membership increase over 50% since the musical’s opening. Declared a Gun-Free Zone

BRAVO FLEET–Newly appointed Bravo Fleet Premier & Chairman Telos Raymar issued Presidential Edict 19-1991 yesterday officially designating the website as a gun-free zone, effective immediately.  Anyone caught bringing a firearm to the site will be immediately banned by fleet JAG, which has a 99.9884% conviction rate.  Similarly, Chairman Raymar was elected with 99.9973% of the vote.

“We want everyone to feel safe here at Bravo Fleet,” said Chairman Raymar.  “Guns simply aren’t a part of the plan.”

The edict also limits all in-story hand phasers to stun-only models. This has already resulted in the loss of the Orion, Rigel, and Betelgeuse sectors to Anti-Federation separatists.  In addition, black market assault phasers have quickly proliferated in the Beta Quadrant.  Regardless, Chairman Raymar reports that the fleet is now headed in the “right direction.”

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