Chas Hammer’s True Identity Revealed

After an exhaustive analysis of Chas Hammer’s many writings, including his books, articles, and decades of simming & online role playing, we can definitively name his real life identity. More 300,000 documents were reviewed over a 12-year period in this deep & comprehensive study to conclusively put the mystery to rest.

Chas Hammer is: Boris Johnson.

boris johnson

Boris Johnson, shortly before being elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom:

“My chances of being Prime Minister are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.”

Chas Hammer, shortly before being elected President of the Simming League:

“My chances of being President are about as good as the chances of finding Seth Cotis on Vulcan, or my being replicated as an olive.”


Boris Johnson, 2006:

“My speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.”

Chas Hammer, 2005:

“My posting style was criticized by no less an authority than Mike K. Bremer. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my role play skills denounced by a joint posting Klingon half-breed.”


Boris Johnson, October 30, 2005:

“Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.”

Chas Hammer, October 32, 1995:

“Simming at Trek Online will cause your in-character wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of driving a Sovereign class starship, in-story, of course.”


Also, was it a coincidence that Chas Hammer disappeared right as Boris Johnson came to prominence?  I think not!

BJohnsonZipLine

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