RISA–James East took control of Independence Fleet last month after the club’s leader, BJ Wheeler, left his keys in the ignition of the group’s flagship while vacationing on Risa. East found the unattended ship in orbit and immediately flew it back to fleet headquarters, where he assumed fleet command just as Wheeler finished his morning piña colada.
“It’s great to be back in the big chair again,” said East from the Commander’s office as a yeoman brought in a stack of PADDs for him to sign. “I can’t wait to get back to work!” East had been on Risa for the past 12 years after being banned himself by Wheeler during the ToS era.
“Meh–he can have it,” replied Wheeler when informed of the news. “I guess I’ll have to hang out here for a while,” he added while sipping his second piña colada.
In the next quadrant, Pegasus Fleet Academy Commandant Niamh Devane announced yesterday that they would be removing the Kobayashi Maru simulation from the curriculum for incoming freshman this fall out of concern for the mental health of students.
“A no-win scenario is no longer in keeping with the ideals of this organization,” said Devane. “In Pegasus Fleet, everyone’s a winner.”
Academy graduate and Captain of the USS Astraea, Abigail Laurens objected to change, calling it a “softening of recruits,” leading to a “weak new generation of role players.”
Over in Star Trek: Freedom, Remae Ktell introduced the group’s first gluten-free sim, the USS Millennial-Rutupiae. “We want to be sensitive to everyone’s needs and we know that not everyone can tolerate a standard game,” he said.
The Millennial-Rutupiae’s membership has already soared to max capacity, leading to long wait times, even with reservations. Many of Freedom’s other sims have already been forced to alter their menus to stay in business.
The Traveler makes many stops
She judges all without their knowledge
But her Standards are no mystery
Many fail, though even more succeed