AMAZON.COM–Obsurdian Fleet Executive Council member Admiral Andreas François Pierre fondu Lac announced yesterday the launch of the fleet’s official line of Star Trek-branded Christmas fondue sets. The base level, the Lieutenant, retails for $39.95. The mid-level, the Captain, runs $59.95. The top set, the Admiral, is listed at $99.95 and also includes an autographed photo of fondu Lac. All three sets go on sale tonight at midnight.
“I’m going to buy them all,” said Theta Fleet‘s Kathryn Burke shortly after the announcement. “It’s my three favorite things combined into one: Star Trek, fondue, and Obsurdian Fleet… well, not really Obsurdian Fleet since I’m in Theta Fleet, so make that my two favorite things.”
“These Star Trek role players have no idea how good they have it with their food replicators and their fondue,” said Marina Costa of Caribbean Dawn. “They should try the age of sail and see how the other half lives!”
Longtime role player Lenny R. Violation of the USS Sagittarius had yet another take. “Frankly, I find the whole thing disgusting. First of all, fondue is a gross. Second, it’s a clear violation of the Prime Directive. And third, I hate everything.”
Lawyers for CBS might agree. As of this morning they were “monitoring” the situation for attempts by Obsurdian Fleet to profit off of Star Trek or anything of Star Trek likeness. According to fondu Lac, however, all proceeds are going to Obsurdian Fleet’s basic operating costs. “Trust me, no one’s making any money off of this, and especially not me of all people,” he said. “Do you like my new sunglasses?”
Not to be outdone, Bravo Fleet is reportedly developing a combined Christmas fruitcake & eggnog package. “I can neither confirm nor deny that,” said Bravo Fleet Executive council member Zachary O’Connell when asked. According to sources, Starbase 400,000‘s Mike K. Bremer is lobbying to be the product line’s spokesman.