AMAZON.COM–Obsurdian Fleet Executive Council member Admiral Andreas François Pierre fondu Lac announced yesterday the launch of the fleet’s official line of Star Trek-branded Christmas fondue sets.
USS MAGNANIMOUS–Captain Brian Bumsworth yesterday indefinitely banned the expression of all opposing political views from his game, the USS Manganimous, effective immediately. This comes after months of Bumsworth arguing with others about politics on the Magnanimous message board, his Facebook page, and at the local Star Trek fan club.
I.C.U.P. HQ–The UCIP Command Council voted late yesterday to change its name to ICUP, effective immediately. Other new names considered, but ultimately rejected, included You Sip, iCUP, and I. Still C.U.P., among others. Originally founded in 1894, ICUP has changed its name 736 times over the course of its 124-year history.
SAN FRANCISCO–Mid-level professional Milton Clumley came out to his co-workers on Thursday afternoon as an online role player. According to Clumley, he agonized for years over the decision to come out, but finally realized last week that he could no longer hide his true identity and passion.
THE INTERNET–For the first time in its eight-year history, Ongoing Worlds is hosting a role play game that continued into a second month of operation. Game #4,692, also known as Fun, Fairies, and Fairy Dust, officially clocked in post #18 on August 1st, day 32 after the role play’s original posting.
After an exhaustive analysis of Chas Hammer’s many writings, including his books, articles, and decades of simming & online role playing, we can definitively name his real life identity. More 300,000 documents were reviewed over a 12-year period in this deep & comprehensive study to conclusively put the mystery to rest.
Bravo Fleet HQ–Bravo Fleet Executive Council member Admiral Zachary O’Connell and Bravo Fleet Task Force 99 & USS Triumphant commander Rear Admiral Michael Aravan ended a heated six-hour expletive-filled argument Monday night without splitting the fleet.
NAPLES–Sixth Fleet (the Star Trek sim club) reached an agreement with Sixth Fleet (the actual US Navy Sixth Fleet) earlier this week to conduct bi-lateral exercises this fall.
Three years ago, the simming and online role playing community melted down over Starbase 400,000’s new paint job. Now, leaders, hosts, and players alike are arguing over this audio file of unknown and mysterious origins. Is it “Mike Bremer” or “Chas Hammer”?
The USS Magnanimous broke the all-time play-by-post record for most posts in a week last week with 2,942 posts. The highly prolific game officially recorded the now-record post at 11:59 pm last night after what had been a week chock-full of non-stop action. No one is really sure what the previous record was.
HOLLYWOOD–Fleet Admiral Tristan Wolf of UFOPP: Starbase 11001001 dropped a new rap song late yesterday in an effort to increase recruiting at his fleet after years of stagnant growth. Wolf produced, directed, and mixed the song. He also played all instrumental parts and sang lead vocals.
STOCKHOLM–Starbase 400,000 was awarded a record 14th consecutive Prize for Simming and Online Role Playing in Memory of Seth Cotis on Tuesday. No other person, place, or thing has won more than two prizes.
CAMBRIDGE–Scientists at the University of Cambridge published a study today linking simming and online role playing to climate change. According to the report, the Earth’s average surface temperature has skyrocketed since simming first became popular in the 1990s.
I’ve been online role playing for 20, maybe even 30 years now. During that time, one question has always lingered in the back of my mind: Have I been simming in the Star Trek universe longer than anyone else?
IRC CHAT ROOM–Simming celebrity & Internet personality Charles Starr was recently presented with the Miss Congeniality Award at the annual Who’s Who of Simming Banquet & Beauty Contest. He received 100% of the vote from his peers.
BRAVO FLEET COMMAND HQ–Captain Duke Hogg was found not guilty by Bravo Fleet JAG on Monday of treason, conspiracy, sedition, mutiny, and being a general asshole. Of the 8,694 cases brought before the JAG prior to Hogg’s, all 8,694 resulted in convictions on all counts.