BRAVO FLEET–Bravo Fleet Command on Monday refused Colonel Muammar Kevah Arzy’s request for asylum for him and his Revolutionary Guard. Arzy and the Revolutionary Guard have been on the run since Arzy was ousted from power in USF last month by pro-Democracy freedom fighters after his failed Thanksgiving Day re-enactment.
“We’ve accepted a lot of people, characters, and space aliens in Bravo Fleet over the years, but Colonel Arzy has too much baggage for even us,” said Bravo Fleet Chairman, Premier & President Telos Raymar.
“It’s a sad day when the most transcendented [sic] and consummated [sic] person in the international role playing community is eschoowed [sic],” said Colonel Arzy as he put a Thesaurus back in his pocket. “Irregardless [sic], no one can ever fully compreciate [sic] my grandiosidity [sic].”
Following the rejection from Bravo Fleet, Arzy’s spiritual adviser, L. Phoenix Lallard of the USS Elasticity, reportedly recommended that he look into Obsurdian Fleet and Mythical Winged Horse Fleet as potential landing spots. “They’ll accept anyone,” she said, according to those familiar with the situation. Lallard came to prominence in 2012 for founding the Church of Simmingtology religion.
Starbase Aurora Forced to Remove Non-Canon Ice Cream Maker from Recreation Deck
STARBASE AURORA–Starbase Aurora officials informed reporters yesterday that the station’s soft-serve ice cream maker has been extracted from the crew recreation deck because it was not official canon. Inspectors from the Bravo Fleet Lore Corps observed the removal.
“It’s gone,” confirmed Aurora Commanding Officer James Racktor about the ice cream maker. “Fortunately the crew can still get 32 different flavors from the food replicators, which are fully canon.”
“It’s bull-[EDITED]!” commented a crewmember speaking on the condition of anonymity. “Everybody knows replicator ice cream sucks!”
Chairman Premier President Raymar issued Presidential Edict 19-9742 on Thursday last week, leading the Lore Corps to immediately contact Starbase Aurora because it’s the first sim alphabetically.
19-9742: Ice cream shall only be served to the crew from approved canon food replicators on all starbases orbiting the second planet in the Aurora star system. This edict is binding fleet-wide for all starbases and starships that are starbases orbiting the second planet in the Aurora star system.
As a result of the removal, the USS Aldrin and USS New Hampshire both rescheduled their Christmas shore leave visits to the Port Royale starbase, where original soft-serve ice cream remains available.