TIMES SQUARE–“Happy New Year!” shouted role players in New York and across the universe this morning as multiple simming & role play groups celebrated the turning of the calendar, although they couldn’t agree on what year it is. Estimates ranged from 1 to 3020.
“Happy 2389!” said Kale Maz from New Destiny Fleet just after the clock struck midnight.
“2389, what?” responded Mardel Shayron of USF. “That was last year. It’s 2390 now.”
“You’re both wrong! It’s not the 24th century–it’s the 23rd century… and it’s 2287,” said Tess Moreno of Shadow Fleet as James Hawke tapped his watch and held it up to his ear.
“Here, here on the 23rd century!” replied Thomas “Tommy” McDuffy of 5th Fleet, “but it’s actually 2285.” Jonathan “Jonny” Grey nodded in agreement.
Still others had different ideas entirely.
“I hereby declare it to be the year 1 A.T.R.” said Bravo Fleet Chairman Premier President Telos Raymar, referring to After Telos Raymar in the fleet’s newly adopted Raymarian calendar.
“I don’t get all the fuss, I mean think it can really be any year you want it to be,” said David Ball of Ongoing Worlds.
Amanda Rose of RPG Writing concurred. “Yeah, I wouldn’t want to impose my years on anyone… even though it’s 2576,” she added.
Following accusations of Star Trek cultural appropriation, leaders at both Borderlands and Zodiac Fleet decided last month to drop stardates entirely. However, IT system limitations led to multiple cascading errors, causing sims to shift between eras. It was recently dubbed the Y2K2X bug.
“We don’t have any problems like that in 22nd Fleet,” continued 22nd Fleet C.E.O. Zachary O’Connell, “because our 2020 fiscal year already began on October 1st, 2019.”
“We no longer even measure time in years,” said Kathryn Burke of Theta Fleet.
“Pfft, we stopped keeping time eons ago,” said President Kim of Shattered Universe. “But it is 3020, and it’s not Star Trek.”
“No matter what anyone says, it’ll always be 2293 to me,” added T’Ana of Azeri Fleet. “I mean 2380… it’ll always be 2380.”
“Yes, 2380… No, 2180, 2180!” said Star Trek: Freedom‘s Remae Ktell.
“It’s the month, not the year that matters,” replied ICUP‘s October Veritas.
As for Caribbean Dawn, “Time has ended,” announced Marina Costa.
In other news, Starbase 400,000 decided to halt production of its baby Bremer toyline after disappointing holiday sales and questions about quality control. Knockoffs of the official brand have been spotted on Amazon, eBay, and other websites. However, Mike K. Bremer still remained the most popular simming avatar for the second year in a row.