After an exhaustive analysis of Chas Hammer’s many writings, including his books, articles, and decades of simming & online role playing, we can definitively name his real life identity. More 300,000 documents were reviewed over a 12-year period in this deep & comprehensive study to conclusively put the mystery to rest.
Simming Prize Board of Trustees Agree to Charles Starr’s Takeover in $42 Trillion Deal
SILICON VALLEY–The Simming Prize Board of Trustees yesterday accepted Charles Starr’s bid to buy the prize and go private, a deal that would give the simming world’s richest person control over the community’s oldest award. The deal has polarized the simming community, despite no one caring one bit about the prize eleven months ago.
22nd Fleet Liquidated by Creditors
RISA–Intergalactic roleplaying conglomerate 22nd Fleet officially shuttered earlier this year as its last remaining assets were sold by creditors. The company had been plagued by internal squabbles, poor customer reviews, and low cash flow since former CEO Zachary O’Connell abruptly resigned last year and pledged his loyalty to Bravo Fleet Chairman & Premier Telos Raymar. O’Connell has not been seen or heard from since.
James East Seizes Independence Fleet After BJ Wheeler Leaves Keys in Flagship’s Ignition & Other Space Oddities
RISA–James East took control of Independence Fleet last month after the club’s leader, BJ Wheeler, left his keys in the ignition of the group’s flagship while vacationing on Risa. East found the unattended ship in orbit and immediately flew it back to fleet headquarters, where he assumed fleet command just as Wheeler finished his morning piña colada.
Star Trek Groups Celebrate the New Year, but Disagree on What Year It Is
TIMES SQUARE–“Happy New Year!” shouted role players in New York and across the universe this morning as multiple simming & role play groups celebrated the turning of the calendar, although they couldn’t agree on what year it is.
Multiple Clubs Accused of Cultural Appropriation of Star Trek; Colonel Arzy Forced out at USF After Thanksgiving Day Reenactment
SAFE SPACE–Celebrity Attorney Michael Vendetta on Monday called for the immediate boycott of Borderlands, Zodiac Fleet, and the USS Legacy for their “insensitive use of Star Trek culture, in part but not exclusive to their proclivity to borrow stardates, transporters, and pointed ears in their stories.”
September Round-Up: Charles Starr’s New Gig, Zachary O’Connell’s Latest Acquisition & Telos Raymar’s Big Edict
ONGOING WORLDS–Charles Starr resigned as pitchman of Capital Market Sim Partners, LLC’s patented fleet flipping program earlier this month, only to take a job as a late-night game show host on the Ongoing Worlds channel.
CBS Introduces Host Certification Program for all Star Trek Role Play Leaders
NEW YORK–CBS announced yesterday a new host certification program for all Star Trek Internet role plays, sims, and fan fiction websites. The course is expected to go live sometime this summer and to be required for all hosts leading Star Trek games in 2020 and beyond.
Trump Directs Attorney General to Open Anti-Trust Lawsuit Against Anodyne Productions
WASHINGTON–President Donald Trump ordered his acting Attorney General on Saturday via tweet to open an anti-trust lawsuit against Anodyne Productions for holding a monopoly of the Star Trek online role playing and simming market. An estimated 87% of Star Trek RPGs run Anodyne Productions’ Nova software.
Obsurdian Fleet and Admiral Andreas François Pierre fondu Lac Launch Co-Branded Christmas Fondue Set
AMAZON.COM–Obsurdian Fleet Executive Council member Admiral Andreas François Pierre fondu Lac announced yesterday the launch of the fleet’s official line of Star Trek-branded Christmas fondue sets.