RISA–Intergalactic roleplaying conglomerate 22nd Fleet officially shuttered earlier this year as its last remaining assets were sold by creditors. The company had been plagued by internal squabbles, poor customer reviews, and low cash flow since former CEO Zachary O’Connell abruptly resigned last year and pledged his loyalty to Bravo Fleet Chairman & Premier Telos Raymar. O’Connell has not been seen or heard from since.
Category: Events
James East Seizes Independence Fleet After BJ Wheeler Leaves Keys in Flagship’s Ignition & Other Space Oddities
RISA–James East took control of Independence Fleet last month after the club’s leader, BJ Wheeler, left his keys in the ignition of the group’s flagship while vacationing on Risa. East found the unattended ship in orbit and immediately flew it back to fleet headquarters, where he assumed fleet command just as Wheeler finished his morning piña colada.
Amanda Rose Quits Role Play and Opens Family Law Practice to Lower the Drama
DETROIT–Longtime RPG Writing leader Amanda Rose announced yesterday that she is stepping away from from simming and opening a family law practice in an effort to decrease the drama in her life. While the timing was surprising to many, no one disputed her reasoning.
Simming Prize Host John Nugra Entertains Some, Offends Others During Opening Monologue
HOLLYWOOD–Five-time host of the Simming Prizes John Nugra delivered a blistering opening monologue last night to the role play elite during the annual awards show & banquet. Sparing no one, he roasted simmers, leaders, NPCs, and the like.
Star Trek Groups Celebrate the New Year, but Disagree on What Year It Is
TIMES SQUARE–“Happy New Year!” shouted role players in New York and across the universe this morning as multiple simming & role play groups celebrated the turning of the calendar, although they couldn’t agree on what year it is.
Bravo Fleet Rejects Colonel Arzy’s Request for Asylum & Starbase Aurora’s Ice Cream Maker
BRAVO FLEET–Bravo Fleet Command on Monday refused Colonel Muammar Kevah Arzy’s request for asylum for him and his Revolutionary Guard. Arzy and the Revolutionary Guard have been on the run since Arzy was ousted from power in USF last month.
Multiple Clubs Accused of Cultural Appropriation of Star Trek; Colonel Arzy Forced out at USF After Thanksgiving Day Reenactment
SAFE SPACE–Celebrity Attorney Michael Vendetta on Monday called for the immediate boycott of Borderlands, Zodiac Fleet, and the USS Legacy for their “insensitive use of Star Trek culture, in part but not exclusive to their proclivity to borrow stardates, transporters, and pointed ears in their stories.”
Shattered Universe Opens Recruiting Station in Star Army Territory
STAR ARMY CITY–Shattered Universe held a grand opening yesterday for its new recruiting office on Star Army Boulevard, deep in the heart of Star Army country. The two neighboring powers have endured a tense relationship for years as they’ve competed for role playing recruits for their military services.
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s RPG Writing: The Musical Opens on Broadway to Mixed Reviews; Bravofleet.com Declared a Gun-Free Zone
NEW YORK–RPG Writing: The Musical, the latest play from famed composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, opened last Thursday on Broadway to mixed reviews from both audiences and critics. It tells the tale of a group of fan fiction writers establishing new roots after being banished from their homeland.
Admirals Zachary O’Connell & Michael Aravan Finally Split from Bravo Fleet and Accidentally Found 22nd Fleet Together; Anatole Lazarus Returns to Bravo Fleet
22ND FLEET–After infamously failing to split from Bravo Fleet in 2018, Admirals Zachary O’Connell & Michael Aravan finally left the group last month and inadvertently co-founded 22nd Fleet together.
Ongoing Worlds Sim About Simming Nearly Breaks the Internet and Causes a Rift in the Spacetime Continuum
ONGOING WORLDS–Global Internet speeds plummeted yesterday and a spacetime anomaly appeared in close proximity to Earth shortly after Simfeld, a sim about simming, was launched on the Ongoing Worlds website.
Shadow Fleet & 5th Fleet Discover That Not Everything Is Better with Bacon
THE INTERNET–Leaders at both Shadow Fleet & 5th Fleet reversed course yesterday on 2018 orders requiring that all Commanding Officers include bacon in their sims after several months of creative stagnation and declining memberships.
Bremer Praises End of Mueller Probe, Decision Not to Indict
STARBASE 400,000–Fleet Admiral Mike K. Bremer lauded the completion of the Mueller probe last month and special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s decision not to indict him. Bremer had been under suspicion for some time that he conspired with both Russia and the Klingon Empire to elect President Donald Trump.
Theta Fleet Uses Tried and True Method to Rid Themselves of Tribble Overpopulation
THETA FLEET–Lieutenant Vetaath Zh’challiss, the Chief Engineer of the USS Valiant, last night remembered an effective method to combat a Tribble overpopulation. Numerous role plays and administrative facilities at Theta Fleet had been overrun with the fast-breeding Tribbles since December, when Élan Val smuggled a single Tribble onboard the USS Hyperion because she thought it was cute.
Exclusive: Mike K. Bremer Replaced by Look-Alike After Passing Away in 2003
History is full of famous switch-a-roos: Paul McCartney, The Ultimate Warrior, and Miley Cyrus, to name a few. Heck, we’re on the 47th version of Cher. After an Outpost 42 News exclusive investigation, we are able to add one more to the list: Mike K. Bremer.
Fleet Admiral Richard to Be Promoted to Ultimate Supreme Master Overlord Excellent Admiral General on Tuesday, Will Become Highest Ranking Role Player Ever
IMMACULATE FLEET-Fleet Admiral Richard is set to become the highest ranking simmer in online role play history, regardless of genre, when he is promoted to Ultimate Supreme Master Overlord Excellent Admiral General tomorrow.
Bravo Fleet President Survives Assassination Attempt at Khitomer
CAMP KHITOMER–Bravo Fleet President Jerry McDonalds survived an attempt on his life today at the Camp Khitomer Peace Accords meeting of Bravo Fleet, Obsurdian Fleet, and Mythical Winged Horse Fleet.
Man Comes Out to Co-Workers as Online Role Player
SAN FRANCISCO–Mid-level professional Milton Clumley came out to his co-workers on Thursday afternoon as an online role player. According to Clumley, he agonized for years over the decision to come out, but finally realized last week that he could no longer hide his true identity and passion.
Sixth Fleet to Conduct Bi-Lateral Exercises with Sixth Fleet
NAPLES–Sixth Fleet (the Star Trek sim club) reached an agreement with Sixth Fleet (the actual US Navy Sixth Fleet) earlier this week to conduct bi-lateral exercises this fall.