THE INTERNET–Leaders at both Shadow Fleet & 5th Fleet reversed course yesterday on 2018 orders requiring that all Commanding Officers include bacon in their sims after several months of creative stagnation and declining memberships.
STARBASE 400,000–Fleet Admiral Mike K. Bremer lauded the completion of the Mueller probe last month and special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s decision not to indict him. Bremer had been under suspicion for some time that he conspired with both Russia and the Klingon Empire to elect President Donald Trump.
THETA FLEET–Lieutenant Vetaath Zh’challiss, the Chief Engineer of the USS Valiant, last night remembered an effective method to combat a Tribble overpopulation. Numerous role plays and administrative facilities at Theta Fleet had been overrun with the fast-breeding Tribbles since December, when Élan Val smuggled a single Tribble onboard the USS Hyperion because she thought it was cute.
History is full of famous switch-a-roos: Paul McCartney, The Ultimate Warrior, and Miley Cyrus, to name a few. Heck, we’re on the 47th version of Cher. After an Outpost 42 News exclusive investigation, we are able to add one more to the list: Mike K. Bremer.
IMMACULATE FLEET-Fleet Admiral Richard is set to become the highest ranking simmer in online role play history, regardless of genre, when he is promoted to Ultimate Supreme Master Overlord Excellent Admiral General tomorrow.
CAMP KHITOMER–Bravo Fleet President Jerry McDonalds survived an attempt on his life today at the Camp Khitomer Peace Accords meeting of Bravo Fleet, Obsurdian Fleet, and Mythical Winged Horse Fleet.
SAN FRANCISCO–Mid-level professional Milton Clumley came out to his co-workers on Thursday afternoon as an online role player. According to Clumley, he agonized for years over the decision to come out, but finally realized last week that he could no longer hide his true identity and passion.
NAPLES–Sixth Fleet (the Star Trek sim club) reached an agreement with Sixth Fleet (the actual US Navy Sixth Fleet) earlier this week to conduct bi-lateral exercises this fall.