TIMES SQUARE–“Happy New Year!” shouted role players in New York and across the universe this morning as multiple simming & role play groups celebrated the turning of the calendar, although they couldn’t agree on what year it is.
BRAVO FLEET–Bravo Fleet Command on Monday refused Colonel Muammar Kevah Arzy’s request for asylum for him and his Revolutionary Guard. Arzy and the Revolutionary Guard have been on the run since Arzy was ousted from power in USF last month.
SAFE SPACE–Celebrity Attorney Michael Vendetta on Monday called for the immediate boycott of Borderlands, Zodiac Fleet, and the USS Legacy for their “insensitive use of Star Trek culture, in part but not exclusive to their proclivity to borrow stardates, transporters, and pointed ears in their stories.”
STAR ARMY CITY–Shattered Universe held a grand opening yesterday for its new recruiting office on Star Army Boulevard, deep in the heart of Star Army country. The two neighboring powers have endured a tense relationship for years as they’ve competed for role playing recruits for their military services.
NEW YORK–RPG Writing: The Musical, the latest play from famed composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, opened last Thursday on Broadway to mixed reviews from both audiences and critics. It tells the tale of a group of fan fiction writers establishing new roots after being banished from their homeland.
22ND FLEET–After infamously failing to split from Bravo Fleet in 2018, Admirals Zachary O’Connell & Michael Aravan finally left the group last month and inadvertently co-founded 22nd Fleet together.
ONGOING WORLDS–Global Internet speeds plummeted yesterday and a spacetime anomaly appeared in close proximity to Earth shortly after Simfeld, a sim about simming, was launched on the Ongoing Worlds website.
THE INTERNET–Leaders at both Shadow Fleet & 5th Fleet reversed course yesterday on 2018 orders requiring that all Commanding Officers include bacon in their sims after several months of creative stagnation and declining memberships.
STARBASE 400,000–Fleet Admiral Mike K. Bremer lauded the completion of the Mueller probe last month and special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s decision not to indict him. Bremer had been under suspicion for some time that he conspired with both Russia and the Klingon Empire to elect President Donald Trump.
THETA FLEET–Lieutenant Vetaath Zh’challiss, the Chief Engineer of the USS Valiant, last night remembered an effective method to combat a Tribble overpopulation. Numerous role plays and administrative facilities at Theta Fleet had been overrun with the fast-breeding Tribbles since December, when Élan Val smuggled a single Tribble onboard the USS Hyperion because she thought it was cute.
History is full of famous switch-a-roos: Paul McCartney, The Ultimate Warrior, and Miley Cyrus, to name a few. Heck, we’re on the 47th version of Cher. After an Outpost 42 News exclusive investigation, we are able to add one more to the list: Mike K. Bremer.
IMMACULATE FLEET-Fleet Admiral Richard is set to become the highest ranking simmer in online role play history, regardless of genre, when he is promoted to Ultimate Supreme Master Overlord Excellent Admiral General tomorrow.
CAMP KHITOMER–Bravo Fleet President Jerry McDonalds survived an attempt on his life today at the Camp Khitomer Peace Accords meeting of Bravo Fleet, Obsurdian Fleet, and Mythical Winged Horse Fleet.
SAN FRANCISCO–Mid-level professional Milton Clumley came out to his co-workers on Thursday afternoon as an online role player. According to Clumley, he agonized for years over the decision to come out, but finally realized last week that he could no longer hide his true identity and passion.
NAPLES–Sixth Fleet (the Star Trek sim club) reached an agreement with Sixth Fleet (the actual US Navy Sixth Fleet) earlier this week to conduct bi-lateral exercises this fall.